How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine
without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without sensing that
knot in the pit of your stomach, and without dwelling on what went
wrong? If these are some of the questions you are asking yourself, you are not alone.
A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some of us even experience
physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach, or terrible insomnia. “Time heals all wounds” is something we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds? Absolutely not. There are steps you can take to alleviate the pain you feel. These steps were developed by people who have endured the pain of a difficult break-up and sought a better way to heal.
Whether you are 22 or 62, the first step is to determine from which type of broken heart you currently suffer. That’s right – there are actually 4 different types of broken hearts. Several factors determine the type of broken heart you may be enduring right now including your relationship history, the type of relationship and the reasons for the break-up, among others. Once you know where your heart stands, you will receive customized healing advice.
Okay, so where should you start? Start with the first healing step – the survey – to see where you stand. Get an instant, on screen evaluation. The survey contains 16-questions and can be completed in about 2 minutes. If you’re ready to see which of the 4 types of broken heart you suffer from, then let’s go.
A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some of us even experience
physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach, or terrible insomnia. “Time heals all wounds” is something we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds? Absolutely not. There are steps you can take to alleviate the pain you feel. These steps were developed by people who have endured the pain of a difficult break-up and sought a better way to heal.
Whether you are 22 or 62, the first step is to determine from which type of broken heart you currently suffer. That’s right – there are actually 4 different types of broken hearts. Several factors determine the type of broken heart you may be enduring right now including your relationship history, the type of relationship and the reasons for the break-up, among others. Once you know where your heart stands, you will receive customized healing advice.
Okay, so where should you start? Start with the first healing step – the survey – to see where you stand. Get an instant, on screen evaluation. The survey contains 16-questions and can be completed in about 2 minutes. If you’re ready to see which of the 4 types of broken heart you suffer from, then let’s go.
Ready? Take the Survey
You are sitting with your cell phone staring at a text message you
wrote to your ex hours ago. You debate whether to send it or not. You
stare at your phone while your mind tells you to have more respect for
yourself. You logically understand that sending the message is not going
to make the situation any better – nor will it heal your pain. Then
your heart enters the scene and overpowers your mind. Your heart says,
“Go ahead, send it, you will feel better…temporarily at least.”
The scenario above represents one example of a misalignment between your heart and your mind that is a common occurrence after a break up. Every decision you make is determined by a combination of your logic and emotion. If these different elements that make you who you are happen to conflict, you will understandably feel conflicted and make decisions that reflect this turmoil.
The concept of alignment will help you understand why you may have been in a relationship that was not good enough for you. It will also help you understand how to use your logic to help heal your broken heart. Let’s look at some more examples of what happens when your heart and mind disagree with one another.
Scenario 1 – During the Relationship
Your mind says, “I deserve more – this relationship is not right.”
Your heart says, “Stay, it will work out.”
If you were in a relationship where it was obvious that you were not receiving the love, respect, and engagement that you deserve, then your mind was probably nudging you during the relationship and asking you, “Why are we still here?” You remained in that relationship for longer than you should have because your heart believed that your mate and relationship could change.
Your heart believed that it was better to be in a relationship that was mediocre than to be alone. Your heart was saying to you, “Hey, give it a chance, it’s not that bad.” Your mind and heart were not aligned and this probably led to fighting, to an internal struggle, and eventually the break up. Often when we want more from a relationship than we are getting, we continually try to get ‘more’ by attempting to change the person we are with or by forcing other changes in the relationship. This is generally a destructive path.
[click to continue…]
The scenario above represents one example of a misalignment between your heart and your mind that is a common occurrence after a break up. Every decision you make is determined by a combination of your logic and emotion. If these different elements that make you who you are happen to conflict, you will understandably feel conflicted and make decisions that reflect this turmoil.
The concept of alignment will help you understand why you may have been in a relationship that was not good enough for you. It will also help you understand how to use your logic to help heal your broken heart. Let’s look at some more examples of what happens when your heart and mind disagree with one another.
Scenario 1 – During the Relationship
Your mind says, “I deserve more – this relationship is not right.”
Your heart says, “Stay, it will work out.”
If you were in a relationship where it was obvious that you were not receiving the love, respect, and engagement that you deserve, then your mind was probably nudging you during the relationship and asking you, “Why are we still here?” You remained in that relationship for longer than you should have because your heart believed that your mate and relationship could change.
Your heart believed that it was better to be in a relationship that was mediocre than to be alone. Your heart was saying to you, “Hey, give it a chance, it’s not that bad.” Your mind and heart were not aligned and this probably led to fighting, to an internal struggle, and eventually the break up. Often when we want more from a relationship than we are getting, we continually try to get ‘more’ by attempting to change the person we are with or by forcing other changes in the relationship. This is generally a destructive path.
[click to continue…]
For someone who writes about relationships, it is pretty risky to make the statement that age matters;
however, I believe in speaking the truth. I also believe in voicing the
concerns of the those that visit this site. From this vantage point and
with respect to love and heartbreak, age definitely matters.
Here is the reason why: we each have a grand plan for our life based on age. It goes something like this:
• In my teens, I’ll get into a good college or get a good job.
• In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
• By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
• In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
• In my forties, I’ll be running the company for which I’ve been working.
• In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
• In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.
Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchange a couple of
details and these types of age confined dreams are quite universal. So
what happens when things don’t go as expected? What
happens when instead of two kids in our thirties, we end up with our
heart in two pieces? We feel broken; not only is our heart shattered, so
too is our self-perception.• In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.
• By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.
• In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.
• In my forties, I’ll be running the company for which I’ve been working.
• In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.
• In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.
It is critical to understand that the pain one feels after a break up is only partially due to the separation from our mate. What causes equal, if not greater agony, is dealing with our crushed dreams. Our dream to be a certain age and have accomplished certain things has been stolen. To overcome the challenge of heartbreak based on age related fears, we must face them head on. [click to continue…]
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